It was such a thrill to see a raccoon family in my backyard! I had so much fun watching them! After a while, though, I realized that the raccoon and I had something in common. We both homeschool.
As I was watching, the raccoon mother was carefully explaining the ways of the world to her almost adult-sized child. She was teaching him to crawl up and down the fence, so he could run along the fence like you and I scurry along the highway. Without any government programs, she was managing to teach her young.
The raccoon son was not convinced that going up a fence was a good idea, and he was terrified of falling. She kept calling and calling, but he wouldn’t jump down from the 5 foot fence. Finally she picked him up by the teeth, and carried him down by the scruff of the neck. Immediately she jumped back up on the fence, calling him to climb up again. Over and over they practiced. Then she took him to the bush closer to my house, to practice climbing up and down from the fence using bush branches for a ladder. That’s when I heard the teenager complain. I have to tell you, that young raccoon was NOT happy with his mother! He was yelling at her. She was calmly chirping encouragement, trying to get him to climb down the branches. And he was barking at her loudly, his voice cracking like a teenage boys. He did NOT want to risk the fall. She finally convinced him to come down. I think he only agreed because he didn’t want to be left behind. The sauntered down the garden path, mom all quick and calm, with her son barking at her the whole way. I could hear him complaining all the way to the end of my driveway.
I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about my kids, but I could so completely relate to the mother raccoon! She taught her child an important skill (without being accredited, by the way.) He learned how to get up and down a fence. But it was a thankless task. Instead of being grateful, the child complained the whole time! I’m not mentioning any names, but it’s quite possible that some people in my family complained from time to time. But guess what? They are 19 and 21 years old now, and we ALL have some 20/20 hindsight (that could be why it it called “20/20 hindsight” – you need to be about 20 years old before you get it!) My children have both told me how incredibly thankful they are! They are thankful they homeschooled, and even thankful for the things I made them do, even when they complained.
Keep up the good work, parents. When your children get that 20/20 hindsight and say thanks, will you let me know? Other parents deserve to know that “thanks” are on the way.
Check out my new profile on The Old Schoolhouse’s Speakers Bureau, and then ask your conference coordinator to invite me to come speak to your conference in 2010!
In our home we have a family motto: ”Never compare, someone always gets hurt.” I think we got that from James Dobson at one point, encouraging us not to compare one child to another – especially in areas that are hard wired and the child can’t change. I think that’s a wonderful reminder for homeschoolers, because sometimes we compare one child to another, when in fact they are both a unique individual with unique strengths and weaknesses.
But then again…… Maybe there IS a place for comparison.
I talk to parents that get very concerned that their child is behind. Many times, simply referring to some standardized test scores can remind them that their child is truly on track, average, or even above average. But sometimes there is more to the story. Sometimes a test score may be pretty low. At those times, it may be helpful to compare, but not with other homeschoolers. Instead, compare to the alternative; public schools. You don’t want to imitate a public school, or set your goals too low. Then again, there is one weakness I have identified in homeschooling. We lose track of where our children are relative to the general population.
We know what our child’s failures are – it’s right in our face. But sometimes we forget that the general population isn’t filled with Einstein’s either. When we educate our child at their level, in each subject, carefully picking and choosing curriculum to match their gifts and their needs, then they WILL LEARN. Keep your focus on learning. Remember that a thoroughly learned algebra will be more valuable than an almost-failing grade in geometry. Keep your goal on learning, and your child can be successful. They don’t have to achieve a certain level. They don’t have to perform highly in every area of a standardized test. They can keep learning in their area. Focus on work ethic and values, because those can compensate for moderate scores in some areas.
Focus on learning, and you can succeed. Try to avoid staring at failure. Compare your child to others if necessary, so that you can feel confident in your abilities. Remember that your child may not be above the 50th percentile in something, but you can still make sure that your child learns more than they would in another educational setting. Work to teach your child at their level in each situation, knowing that LEARNING is true success.
I’m a nurse, and I know too much about the human body. My husband teases me about it all the time. When a family member is sick, and I get worried, my husband will laugh and say, “What is it this time? Spinal menningitis? Homonymous hemianopsia?” There have been times when I’ve had my child in the hospital, and I knew WAY too much! When Alex had his ER visit for peanut anaphylaxis, I knew just how quickly it could go bad, and exactly what it would look like.
When you are homeschooling, and you’re also a certified teacher, you may also have the problem of “knowing too much.”
Teachers have spent years in school, learning how to teach. They learn about philosophy, and about crowd control. It’s hard to let go of four years of education training. It’s hard to remember that the love of your child is the most important factor in teaching. In high school, the problems of “knowing too much” becomes more acute, as you start to think about high school grades.
I know that it’s hard to separate homeschooling from being a teacher. I have a lot of clients who are certified teacher, and they tell me it’s one of their biggest areas of struggle! They are often gifted, GIFTED teachers, but struggle to “let go” of the classroom strategies they were taught in college.
One area where certified teachers often struggle is in testing their children. Just try to remember that tests in school are given because you NEED tests to assess large groups of children. When you are homeschooling, you can assess in other ways. Just try to figure out how you ARE assessing them already. Perhaps that mindset will help a bit.
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I thought I would take a break from our usual serious fare and share with you a brief YouTube we made this past winter. The boys were back from college and I we had our cousins over for a visit. We decided to have some fun and make a video of one of our family’s funniest homeschool memories. It is a little drama (trauma?) we call “The Frantic Plumber Song”. I hope you enjoy!
If you enjoyed this, you might like to subscribe to my YouTube channel here.Our other videos are a bit more serious, but still involve lots of laughing!
The words “teenage” and “rebellion” may seem like they go hand in hand, but it hasn’t always been that way. In the past, getting older meant a child was becoming an adult. Look at their behavior that you call “rebellion” and ask yourself some questions. Is this behavior really my child simply becoming an adult? Because sometimes what we label as rebellion may simply be the child making decisions for themselves.
One thing that may help (MAY help, mind you!) is to think about the choices that other adults make. If your child makes a decision that you don’t agree with, but it’s a decision that other adults make all the time, maybe it isn’t rebellion at all! Maybe it is simply your child becoming an adult! For example, their choice in clothing, or how they style their hair. Their choices may not be your choices. But are those choices OK? If another adult made that choice, would you really be upset or distressed? Because if not, perhaps it’s an OK choice for your child to make.
Some parents allow their children many choices in their homeschool. Instead of telling them when each thing must be done, they just tell them WHAT things must be done. “Finish these ten things before 5:00″ for example – leaving them to decide when they want to do each item. Some children would prefer to get up at 5:00 AM and be done by noon! Is that wrong? Or just a choice they make? What if it’s on the other side? What if they get up at noon, and don’t finish their schoolwork until 5:00? IS that wrong, or just a choice?
Frankly, in my home, I truly did make them finish their work by 4:00. I know that it MAY have been a fine choice for them to make, but it didn’t work well with our family. I needed my husband to “play the heavy” in some areas, so they had to be done before he got home, in order for him to work his magic and make sure it was all done each day. We had sports in the afternoons, and I really don’t do well after dinner. Having them turn in assignments during my own times of fatigue would have been horrendous! So above all, make sure that you decide what works for you family!
GROUP SPEAKING! I love speaking to homeschool groups, coops, conventions and college fairs. Take a look at my speaking topics and call me today to set up a presentation!
Psalm 28:7
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song.
Have you looked at your homeschool and screamed “HELP!” In my homeschooling high school mini-course, I asked parents to tell me their biggest question about homeschooling high school. It’s common for me to see a one word, panic-filled cry, “Help!” My mission is to help parents homeschool high school, but true and lasting help, help that will apply to EVERY area of your life, is found in the Lord.
Know your children, trust the Lord, and believe that he can help you through this time in your life. He has helped you through the diapers, the messes, the illnesses….. he can help you through this period of your life as well. You ARE helped – present tense! If you trust in the Lord, he IS helping you. let your heart leap for joy!
I guess that means it’s time to start counting your hours for music credits, as you give thanks to Him in song!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
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Evergreen Freedom Foundation contacted the WHO board asking to interview “a homeschooler.” Nobody else on the board wanted to go, so Matt and I took Alex. They also asked for a learning disabled homeschooler, but we never found one. EFF ended up interviewing all three of us; my husband, my son, and me. We knew it was for “a documentary” and it was supposed to highlight ALL the effective ways to educate.
Now that I’ve seen the video, I’m a bit disappointed. They didn’t include homeschooling in the main documentary (only alternative education through public schools.) The snippet we put on the website was actually taken from the “bonus features”.
I gave the movie to Matt and Alex for Christmas, and we watched the whole thing, waiting to see ourselves. We were so disappointed to be just part of the bonus reel, LOL! But we are listed on the credits.
In the main documentary, they highlight the alternative-education girl who won the geography bee. Turns out her mother was my roommate in college! She was in a study group with Matt – she’s an engineer! I hadn’t seen her since college, and then one day I was at a homeschool swing dance event, and she walked in. We started talking about what we were up to – surprised to see we were both homeschooling. That’s when she told me she was in this documentary, and I told her I was in the SAME documentary! It was amazing!
I think that Evergreen Freedom Foundation may be trying to promote alternative education. Unfortunately, it may be at the expense of independent homeschooling. EFF just believes alt-ed is a great way to go with public education dollars. That’s one of the reasons why I came down so hard on that in Olympia, when I spoke to the legislators. Evergreen Freedom Foundation was there, and they had just spoken on alternative education, and their movie Flunked.
Anyway, it’s an Evergreen Freedom Foundation documentary to encourage alternative education approaches, including vouchers. It was filmed about 2 years ago. I thought it would include more homeschooling, but homeschooling was pretty much just a “P.S.” to the movie.
And now you know…”the rest of the story.”
In case you haven’t seen it, here is the clip of our homeschooling interview. We spoke for about an hour but were edited to a few minutes.
How do I know that homeschooling works? My children are now 19 and 21 years old, and in college. How do I know that homeschooling high school was a good thing for them? Today they each updated their Facebook status. What do they think of their academics?
My younger son is in the honors program, majoring in Political Science. His status:
Alex really enjoyed his Faith & Science II class
My older son is majoring in electrical engineering with a computer science minor – and he takes upper division math “for fun.” His status:
Kevin is happy about his morning, his awesome lunch, his music discovery, and his upcoming lab. Whee…
I’ve decided that my homeschool was indeed successful. They both love school, and don’t mind telling the world about it. I know that not everything in life is perfect – at least not in my life. On the other hand, my kids love college, love their classes, and really enjoy learning. That’s success in my book!
Homeschoolers, remember your 5-year plan, part of which is a close-knit family, and children who love learning. It may not solve all your problems, but it may help you tolerate some of those difficulties today.
Matt here, I’m back from an unexpected New Year’s party at the local hospital. I went to bed early on New Year’s Eve, missing the big event for the first time in my life. I hadn’t felt well all day, so I kept my celebrations pretty tame (DVD and popcorn, pretty much like every other year.) I slept fine that night and woke up normally. About 8 AM, I was struck by some pretty severe pain. What was odd is it wasn’t quite in my chest, nor in my abdomen. It was kind of “in between.” A quick call to the doctor was all my wife needed to order me into the car. We were going to the ER!
I won’t bore you with the details but 52 hours and 918 needle pokes later we are home. All they could conclude was that something had happened to my spleen (an oft-neglected, “minor” organ.) Apparently, mine was tired of being ignored and decided to “infarct” (a word that demands careful spelling.) They really don’t know what happened or why, which is a little disappointing given all of the blood I gave them. They seem content to conclude that is was a fluke. We will follow up later with more tests (involving more blood, I am certain.)
Since I have been home, I’ve felt overwhelmed with gratitude for all of my blessings. First of all, Thank You to everyone who wrote to me on Facebook saying they were praying. I felt your prayers (in-between needle pokes.) Second, thank you to my family for calling and visiting and in general making a fuss. It was unnecessary but, I must say, felt really good. Third, Thank You to Lee, who was by my side the entire time, making sure the nurses did what they were supposed to do. My advice to all of you young people – marry a nurse. It will pay huge dividends!
We now return to our regularly scheduled blog posts….
Matt here, blogging early on Christmas morning. The boys are still in bed having negotiated an 8AM wake up today. Boy, life is different than when they were up at 6 AM on Christmas morning, pulling on our blankets and begging us to get up!
Speaking of life, I finally got around to using a Christmas present I received last year. It is a VHS to DVD recorder. For a full year, I could never get around the technological barrier of trying to set up one of these machines. Sounds funny to say since Lee trusts me with the technical side of her business!
Anyway, I finally did it and for the past few days have been happily transferring videos of our children onto DVD. Several times a day, Lee and I will sneak upstairs just to watch and smile.
My, how things have changed. What strikes me most – other than the ridiculously large glasses I wore in the 80s – is the consistency of our kid’s personalities – from the time they were born to the present day. Kevin has always been quiet and demure. Alex has always been outgoing and boisterous. It is amazing how God created them to be a certain way and that is who they have remained. Lee and I were laughing (to ourselves) the other day because we noticed Kevin exhibiting the same behavior at 21, as we just watched him on video do at age 2. Wow!
So the message is, love your children for who God made them to be. Shape and mold, don’t twist and force. He has a plan for who they are and our job is to help them become that person.
And if you are reading this on Christmas morning, you probably are waiting for your older kids to wake up, just like us!
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