A while ago, a portion of one of my newsletters was plagiarized. I consulted my in-house “lawyer in training” – my son Alex. Every time I think of our interaction that day, it really warms my heart. On Sunday, during our “Love and Respect” Sunday School class, I think I finally realized why Alex’s help was so important to me that day. He was protecting me – which was demonstrating that he loved me. In the book, it talks a lot about cycles, and how love LEADS TO respect, and respect LEADS TO love. So I started thinking about what I did to show my son respect that day. I think that the moment when I asked his opinion of the situation, adult to adult, was the moment that he knew I respected him.We won’t even think about all the times I completely *fail* at the love and respect cycle, but I did think it was interesting to see on situation in which it worked. I hope it will encourage you.

Blessings,

Lee

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There is a watershed moment in high school when it comes to parenting boys. When they are younger, your focus is raising an obedient and confident child. Once they get into high school, you have to somehow transition into developing respect for your son as growing man.

Check out the book “Love and Respect.” Instead of reading it as a “husband and wife” book, think about how it pertains to young men. How can you show real RESPECT for your son, when he drives you crazy? Try to find something he is good at, something in his area of specialization, and show him adult-to-adult respect for that skill (as often as you can!)

I also found it helpful when my husband and sons would talk man to man. When they were disrespectful, my husband would say “Don’t treat my WIFE that way” in order to put them on a level playing field. Saying “Don’t treat YOUR MOTHER that way” is reminding them that they are not men. Instead, even in conflict, try to treat them as men.

Believe it or not, raising men is even more challenging than raising boys. It is made easier of you recognize the transition and as parents discuss how to begin to deal with it.

Blessings,
Lee

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