Respecting your Young Men

February 26, 2008

A while ago, a portion of one of my newsletters was plagiarized. I consulted my in-house “lawyer in training” – my son Alex. Every time I think of our interaction that day, it really warms my heart. On Sunday, during our “Love and Respect” Sunday School class, I think I finally realized why Alex’s help was so important to me that day. He was protecting me – which was demonstrating that he loved me. In the book, it talks a lot about cycles, and how love LEADS TO respect, and respect LEADS TO love. So I started thinking about what I did to show my son respect that day. I think that the moment when I asked his opinion of the situation, adult to adult, was the moment that he knew I respected him.We won’t even think about all the times I completely *fail* at the love and respect cycle, but I did think it was interesting to see on situation in which it worked. I hope it will encourage you.

Blessings,

Lee

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Raising Men vs. Raising Boys

February 17, 2008

There is a watershed moment in high school when it comes to parenting boys. When they are younger, your focus is raising an obedient and confident child. Once they get into high school, you have to somehow transition into developing respect for your son as growing man.

Check out the book “Love and Respect.” Instead of reading it as a “husband and wife” book, think about how it pertains to young men. How can you show real RESPECT for your son, when he drives you crazy? Try to find something he is good at, something in his area of specialization, and show him adult-to-adult respect for that skill (as often as you can!)

I also found it helpful when my husband and sons would talk man to man. When they were disrespectful, my husband would say “Don’t treat my WIFE that way” in order to put them on a level playing field. Saying “Don’t treat YOUR MOTHER that way” is reminding them that they are not men. Instead, even in conflict, try to treat them as men.

Believe it or not, raising men is even more challenging than raising boys. It is made easier of you recognize the transition and as parents discuss how to begin to deal with it.

Blessings,
Lee

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How in the world do you homeschooling boys!?

November 15, 2007
>>>>Cindy wanted suggestions for her Junior High boys. She said “Until now, I haven’t talked to anyone who has successfully homeschooled boys. I am really looking forward to it, but of course, I’m a little nervous. My son is a sports NUT!!!!!”<<<<

AHA!!! A sports nut!!! Now I have all sorts of ideas for you! Listen, Cindy, with guys, you really need to wear them out, sometimes, before they will sit down and study. Keep him REALLY active in sports everyday, and I think you’ll be more likely to succeed in getting him to curl up with a good book. We also did weekly skating/bowling, etc., with our support group, and that was a GREAT way for my boys to meet other homeschooled teens. We didn’t do “coop classes” per se, but I did sign them up for a “World War II Naval History Class for teens” in the hopes that they would meet other homeschooled boys – and that worked great for getting to know other friends. Is he involved with a church? That can also provide for that social outlet.

There are some curricula that are geared toward sports (Baseball Math comes to mind.) It could be that your “sports nut” is also a hands-on learner. You might want to use Moving With Math or other hands-on math program. For art, we did a local art class called Teen Pottery Wheel that was a fun way for them to do art in a messy way :-) Look carefully at ideas that are hands-on. One art curriculum we really liked was “Discovering Great Artists.” It’s a book that has art projects based on famous artists – a very hand-on way to study the history of art.

I would also encourage you to look at Sonlight, especially since it’s your first year. I used Sonlight my first year, and I really felt like it “held my hand” while I was figuring out how to homeschool. After a few years of using Sonlight, I decided I could make my own curriculum
schedule by myself, and I was able to do it more cheaply after that. But at first, having Sonlight hold my hand – well, it was worth its weight in gold! You might want to try it for a year, and then branch out after that – then it will seem a lot easier.

Take care!

Blessings,
Lee



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