Some parents are born homeschooling their children. Other parents begin educating their children in the common way until they realize they need to make a change. It’s interesting to watch families taking their first tentative steps into the homeschool arena. Some begin the journey resistant, even angry at the world for being forced into the lifestyle. First tentative, gradually they become more confident. Eventually they begin to feel fulfilled as a parent and as a family.
If you are beginning the journey of homeschooling (whether joyfully or against your will) it may encourage you to know that God is with you.
Isaiah 43:5-7 (New Living Translation)
5 “Do not be afraid, for I am with you. I will gather you and your children from east and west.
6 I will say to the north and south,
‘Bring my sons and daughters back to Israel
from the distant corners of the earth.
7 Bring all who claim me as their God,
for I have made them for my glory.
It was I who created them.’”
One of my clients has chosen Isaiah 43:5 as her verse for this year. In moments of certainty and doubt she will repeat it to herself.* “Do not be afraid, for I am with you. I will gather you and your children from east and west.”
Don’t be afraid to be gathered together with your children. It’s wonderful! Even if you aren’t looking forward to it, you can learn to love it AND be successful!
Check out my new profile on The Old Schoolhouse’s Speakers Bureau, and then ask you conference coordinator to invite me to come speak to your conference in 2011-2012!
January is a tough time for everyone. I was chatting online with a mom who is facing some family challenges.
Hi Lee,
I remember the article or blog you had saying that January was a difficult month. With so much going on in my life I am amazed we have gotten anything done but I feel like we are doing the minimum if anything. It has gotten as boring as public school to them. The field trips we used to take to brighten up our curriculum have been eliminated at the moment due to the separation and financial stress. I don’t feel like the wonderful home school mom that I envisioned myself to be. It has not become fun for them anymore. Thank Heaven we still have their other activities – Civil Air Patrol – Soccer – Youth Court – Volunteer at thrift store. Most are free.
I especially get paranoid over my oldest because he is in 9th grade. I feel he should be doing more and motivated. He only cares about his laptop and Japanese cartoons. He isn’t motivated in any writing assignments at all. I know the separation has affected them but he was being like this before then. How do I motivate this child? Your boys read all the time. It sounds like they would have been fine no matter what you did. I mean one was absorbed in economics as a hobby. Your annoyance meter activities still lead to careers. I have two gifted children who do not use most of their gifts. So sad. The smartest people are the ones who seem to read all the time. I try to tell them this. Back in time before there was anything else the great people we admire today just read all the time. If they did more of this and on different subjects I would feel better. How can they be so brilliant and yet cannot tell you where most of the well known cities is this country are located? Discovered this info this morning.
~ Karen
Here is the blog post about burnout, but I need to write it again! Homeschooling High School – Strengthen What Remains! January and February are such a difficult time of year – even for public school teachers. It’s not just you, and it’s not just because of a challenging situation. It’s just a hard time of year.
Don’t worry about projects and field trips and fun. If you have finished the core classes, just go to the library and let the kids learn something there. Since you are facing a family crisis, don’t worry too much about getting academics beyond the core. How about doing videos for history? Even watch literature on TV to mix things up? And your activities WILL keep you sane. They are all on the transcript. Just math is the key. The rest can wait.
You asked how to motivate your oldest – use the computer. Can you have him start to blog? Have him research these places: http://www.blogger.com/
www.blogspot.com/
wordpress.com/
He can do the research to learn how, blog about his experiences with Civil Air Patrol, Manga, etc. Have him post photos of his experiences and his cartooning. In the process he will be doing reading, writing, math, computer technology and maybe even start coding or working on graphic design. By the way, when you do start into the heavy homeschooling again, ask him if he wants to learn Japanese. See if they offer Rosetta Stone Japanese at the library for free
My son’s friend is a computer geek like that. He was just offered $40,000 per year to be a teaching assistant and get a masters in graphic design. This IS an academic hobby, it’s just hard for you to see right now. But getting him into programming or creating art on the computer can feed his interests.
I know it’s hard. It would be just as hard at school, only then any problems would be part of his “permanent record” and here at home you can make adjustments.
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Trying to convince your spouse about homeschooling? Let the data set you free!.
Dear Lee,
Happy New Year to you! I wrote you last year about homeschooling our 16 year old son. He is still attending public school. School just started this week, and he hates it. My husband and I are trying to ask him what is going on, and he said, he is lonely, and dealing with some comments from other friends/teens. He is an active, happy teen, and when it comes to school, he hates it! Can I homeschool him in high school? How can I convince my husband that our son is struggling? HELP! hee hee…
Thanks,
Debbie in Alaska
Hi Debbie,
Yes, you CAN homeschool – even starting now (depending on your state homeschool law.) I have a blog post for beginning
homeschoolers.
And if you and your husband take this homeschooling webinar I made with Jay Wile, you’ll immediately know how great it can be!
I hope that helps!
I’ve recently been connecting with friends on LinkedIn. I invite you to send me an invitation if you want to connect with my business.
What happens when REAL homeschoolers grow up? You know, the kids who have to actually WORK to learn? I’ll tell you what happens – they succeed! This is a letter I recently received from a friend willing to share the ups and downs of her journey – and their ultimate success!
I just have to share what happened today. My oldest child, Rhett age 16 and in the 11th grade, won the National Guard Outstanding Achievement Award. They give our one per state and only 100 in the world. He won it for having the highest GPA in Automotive Technology.
He was also the first EVER first year student to be invited to participate in national competition and he’s been asked to participate in two. He won the Star Student Award several weeks ago for having the highest GPA in the college. He’s only in his first semester and he’s already been approached by several technical institutes (such as WyoTech) about a full scholarship.
What makes this so amazing is that this child has ADHD and a serious reading comprehension issue for which there is no cure. This is the student that the public school told me was unable to succeed because of his reading problems. I’ve been ridiculed and degraded for choosing to homeschool my children and this feels like a sort of vindication to me! I’m so proud of him and of all he’s accomplished. God is so good!
Just wanted to share all of this with you – many of you have kept my head above water over the years…and I wanted to share this success with each of you. Let it also be an encouragement to all of those starting out that you CAN do it!
Emily
I asked Emily to encourage other parents dealing with learning challenges. Hopefully others will be able to glean helpful tidbits for their own children.
I never did anything special curriculum wise – he is a math/science/history whiz. He can memorize anything and remembers the most inane details about things. Our only special resource was prayer, our belief in him, and his belief and determination to succeed. He never gave up or even considered for a moment that he couldn’t or wouldn’t succeed. The only issue he ever has had was reading – and it was a HUGE issue – but God saw fit to bless him with talents that put him head and shoulders above the rest in spite of his comprehension problems.
I will say that seeing Casting Crown in November of 2007 changed his life. The lead singer, Mark Hall, gave his testimony. He talked about his struggle with ADHD and dyslexia and how people always told him he’d never amount to anything, but God didn’t believe that. We stood there in that coliseum, my husband, myself, and my son (13 at the time) with tears streaming down our faces. I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God had intended us to be there. The impact that made was incredible.
We always planned college. I’ve never doubted his ability for one second. I doubted mine plenty of times, though! Lol. Thankfully, I have a wonderful godly man for a husband who has always believed in me and our children. I always knew that Rhett going to college would mean work for us – if he was going to succeed, we were going to have to continue to be willing to give. The amazing thing? He hasn’t needed our assistance on anything since beginning classes in August! He quickly excelled about the others and is, in fact, helping the instructor by teaching many things to the other students.
Rhett decided last year that he wanted to take automotive technology at the local college this year. Neither he nor we thought that he’d make a career choice out of it (we didn’t have objections, but while he’s always had an incredible interest in automotives and anything technical, he viewed it more as a hobby). Within a two weeks of classes starting he was talking about it in more and more. By the mid-quarter mark he knew that this was his calling and what he wanted to pursue with his life.
His plans are to attend a technical school after high school graduation and after finishing there he wants to attend a school for diesel mechanics as well. We know that with God’s help he will continue to succeed.
The thing I want to say most to parents everywhere is this: “Never, ever, ever believe what someone else tell you about your child’s abilities. God gave your child to YOU. Our children will live up to our expectations so set the bar high and be there to help them reach above and beyond. Believe in your child and his dreams and do everything in your power to make sure he can achieve them.”
Again, thank you so much. This journey has been long and hard and has contained MANY tears and sleepless nights. I’ve been ridiculed, degraded, and talked about in the most cruel ways. But in the end, I wouldn’t trade one tear or sleepless night or hateful word, because it made me and Rhett who we are. Who God wants us to be. What else matters?
According to ABC News, the University of Central Florida has a huge problem. Recently 200 seniors cheated on a Business course midterm. One third of the class cheated, and now they may not be allowed to graduate. One student called it a witch hunt and said, “This is college. Everyone cheats, everyone cheats in life in general.”
Students may be tempted to cheat in college. While they are at home, tell them you are aware of the problem, and talk to them about the consequences. Conversations you have now can prevent problems in college and on the job. It might be a good idea to compare these news reports on cheating, and compare them to current events news stories on cheating. I’m so thankful this college is taking a firm stand on the issue of cheating in business. Stories about AIG, BP, and Bernie Madoff underscore the value of honest business practices.
Parents can make all the difference. Homeschool parents have the advantage, because they can make sure honesty is promoted, and that conversations about honesty reflect their values.
Christian families will enjoy this Josh McDowell sermon on “Why is Lying Wrong.” What a challenging message! If you are a book-lover, you can read more in Josh McDowell’s book Right from Wrong.
The headline in the New York Times screams “Black boys score far behind white students.”
“An achievement gap separating black from white students has long been documented — a social divide extremely vexing to policy makers and the target of one blast of school reform after another. But a new report focusing on black males suggests that the picture is even bleaker than generally known.”
Great news! This does NOT apply to homeschool parents!
The NY Times article says the graduation rates for black boys is 57 percent. What is your graduation rate?
The study cites parental education level as a contributing factor. Did you know that the parents educational level does not have a statistical effect on homeschool achievement? Has your lack of a college education held your child back? Or have you compensated somehow?
The article say the key to narrowing the achievement gap is “really good teaching.”
Our conclusion is obvious, then. Way to go, homeschool parents! You MUST be really good teachers, because homeschoolers don’t experience the same achievement gap that public schools have!
My hypothesis is that homeschool parents truly love their children. They know they are responsible for educating, and don’t look for anyone else to do it for them. They are intimately invested in the success of their teaching methods. They are aware of the abilities of their students and of themselves, and they work to compensate for any difficulties they notice.
It’s the love you have for your child that will ensure their success. Not race. Not parental education level. Not income.
Please leave your comments, and share your success stories!
The FAFSA is the Free Application for Federal Student Aid. You can get information at www.fafsa.ed.gov. Here are the basics:
Completing the FAFSA feels like filling out the IRS tax forms.
Filling out the FAFSA can result in significant financial aid, even if you aren’t low income.
The federal government uses the information to determine how much money they think you can afford to pay for college. Isn’t THAT a laughable concept! Ha!
It is also used by many colleges (not all) to determine financial aid you may receive.
Fill out the FAFSA on January 1st of the student’s senior year of high school, and make that your New Year’s Day tradition. Repeat that process every January 1st until your youngest child has graduated college.
The Comprehensive Record Solution provides the training and templates and real life examples of successful high school records. Grab it before the price goes up on Monday!
It’s ironic, really, My children thought I was pretty tough on them. But other people’s teenagers seem to think I give great advice!
Sometimes I talk to “Type A Mom” who is trying to cover two entire English courses during the same year, or the mother who insists on 5 or more AP classes at a time. My advice to lighten up, and adjust expectations can be a huge relief to teenagers.
Sometimes I talk to “Type ADD Mom” who is frantically working hard at absolutely everything under the sun, but getting very little done. I can help them determine what is important, what to do first, and what to let go.
Sometimes I talk to “Type B Mom” who is trying valiantly to get her square-peg-child into a round public-school-hole. We talk about the freedom of homeschooling, and adjust expectations according to the ability of their child.
Many time, and in many situations, and for many reasons, the end result is the same. Less work plus more enjoyment, causing some very happy students. Sue wrote to tell me how happy her son was, so I’d thought I would share.
Hi Lee
Thanks for the great ideas yesterday. I talked to my son, David, about some of the things you and I talked about. I told him that through my conversation with you I was “enlightened” to the idea that I can give him a grade of 100% on his daily work if he keeps reworking the things marked wrong until they are correct. His response was, “I love that woman!”
Thanks again,
Sue
If things aren’t working for your homeschool right now, take a step back and try to look at it from an outsider’s point of view. Are you doing too much? Too little? Are they working longer hours than a full time job?
If you need help, I’ll be here for you! As a reminder, my Gold Care Club members get 20 minutes of private phone consulting or priority email support each week. Enough to get answers to their toughest questions and stay on track. Check it out here: http://www.TheHomeScholar.com/gold-care.php
My Comprehensive Record Solution launches on November 29. Learn how you can create homeschool records that win college admission and scholarships.
How do you teach State History so it’s not boring? And do successful homeschoolers ever completely flop teaching something?
Hi Lee, I would like to know if you can give any information on teaching Washington State History without making it boring. I have a book and an old version of switched on school house that isn’t up to date, because it for 2000-01 school year. I want to make the study interesting not boring.
~Homeschool Mom
Hi there,
I completely failed at teaching State History. Really. I never made it into something that wasn’t boring.
Did you know that State history is NOT a requirement for homeschoolers in Washington State? You don’t have to cover that at all…. boy, I wish I would have known that!
If you want to cover Washington State history anyway, you can do as little as just a research report or a mapping project. As far as Switched on Schoolhouse goes, I don’t think it matters what year it was created, because you’re looking more at the history and geography of the state, rather than current events.
But all in all, I’m completely NO HELP here, except to say you don’t have to teach it I’m pretty sure my readers will have some ideas though.
EVERYONE: Can you please help us struggling homeschoolers with some interesting ways to teach State History?
Isn’t it wonderful that I’m willing to admit my failures, though? LOL!
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Hi everyone….Matt here. One of Lee’s Facebook friends asked whether I had any tips for mom’s raising teen boys. Although I’ve never been a mom, I have raised teen boys. With that obvious shortcoming, I humbly offer the following 5 ideas:
Be aware of the dynamic going on. Your son is changing from dependence to leadership. He is learning to lead a family both by watching his dad, but also by “practicing” on his mom. This can lead to some very awkward situations for both.
Demand respect, but not agreement (and sometimes not even obedience). Let dad deal with respect issues, man-to-man.
Major in the majors. You’re son may view every conflict/disagreement as a fight to the death. You shouldn’t. Resign yourself to losing a few such “battles.”
Reframe your attitude. Instead of “power struggle”, practice “power judo”, i.e., redirect inappropriate expressions into concrete actions where teen boy can take and feel ownership. For example, Teen resists Math assignment -> Potential Power Struggle -> Mom performs “power-judo” move No. 17: “Yes. So, when would you like to finish that assignment?” -> Teen takes ownership and completes assignment on his own schedule…(at least in theory).
Take them for a walk. No agenda, just walk quietly beside them. Something magical can happen when you walk side-by-side with your son. Once they recognize you are not going to nag them, they may eventually break the silence. Otherwise, just enjoy the scenery and practice your deep breathing.
Nothing earth-shaking, just some inside tips from someone who was once a teen boy himself.
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