It is sometimes difficult to encourage men to help with household chores.  As the only woman in my home, I knew we needed to work together.  Of course they would need cleaning skills for adulthood.  More importantly, though, they were the ones making the mess! It was simply a matter of Justice.

That's me herding my three men!

Sidetracked Home Executives: From Pigpen to Paradise by Pam Young and Peggy Jones has some great ideas.  For years, instead of nagging, I would simply hand my men their list of tasks on cards.  Finish the cards, done for the day.  Now, you have to understand that this is how my kids functioned best.  It is the same personality characteristics that made them like an assignment sheet rather than having me tell them their assignments.  They liked to see all the work up front first, so they knew the list wouldn’t get longer and longer as the day went on.   Since it was a good fit for us, it was a great sanity-saver during our years of homeschooling.

I was cleaning the house the other day and something became very clear to me.  Yes, my children are no longer home to make a mess.  However, they are no longer home to help me clean, either!  It takes me FOREVER without their help!

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Do you think there is a market for a book called “The Worst-Case Scenario Homeschool Survival Handbook”?  Maybe not, but I do have a short article that may help, called “Homeschooling without Fear.“  I hope it will help you feel like a survivor.

Six months before I first started homeschooling, I was stricken with severe dizziness, and the doctors did tests to see if I had a brain tumor, or multiple sclerosis.  As I lay on my swirling-yet-stationary couch, I wondered how I would be able to homeschool in my condition.  But watching the situation in the public school, I was aware that SICK OR NOT, I could still do a better job than they were doing, because my son’s teacher was on medical leave too!  I thought a lot about these issues before we even began, and became convinced I would stick it out.

I have never been faced with a truly horrendous situation while homeschooling, and I hope you haven’t either.  But just in case, I hope you will remember that there is a way to survive while homeschooling.

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Children learn all the time, even when we aren’t looking – and even over summer!  You might want to “pre-test” your children in some subject areas before you start school next year.  For example, Spelling Power offers a placement test for their program, and you can check their spelling level at the beginning of each year, to make sure they are learning something new.  In most math books, the first chapter or two is review.

You can see if your student really NEEDS the review.  You can give the chapter one test on the first day of school, and if your child scores well, just skip chapter one, and move on to the chapter two test.  Keep in mind that our goal isn’t to “teach” something.  Our goal is that our children learn something new – something they don’t already know.

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My experience with LD and ADHD is not first hand, but through friends and college advisers.  In talking with them, I came to recognize that the core issue of the LD crowd is the same as it is for the gifted crowd:

Teaching every subject at their level all the time.

That’s how I provide guidance.  I can tell you that I have spoken to many colleges who are eager to have all children, and are well prepared to accommodate, and my Gold Care Club message is all about preparing for college.

Beyond “expertise” though, much of homeschooling high school is about having support.  I can be your buddy, your friend who is GLAD you’re homeschooling your child and thinks it’s a GOOD idea.  I can be your second pair of eyes on your curriculum and records, and another caring parent researching issues online.  In other words, sometimes it’s not about me knowing more than you, but about me going through it with you.

How about this idea.  You could get the Total Transcript Solution and try Gold Care Club for free for a month and see if it works for you.  Surely you’ll need a transcript anyway, and it comes with some great classes along with the Ebook.  And then you can try the Gold Care, see if it meets your needs, and only stay on for the monthly fee IF it meets your needs, you know?  No harm, no foul that way!  Here is the link to the Total Transcript Solution so you can read more about it.

Also, make sure to read my article on College for Struggling Learners.

The women quoted in the article are very close friends of mine, and I know their children very, very well.  Please be encouraged – these are real people.

I am now the Seattle Homeschool Examiner.  You can read my homeschool articles here.

One of the difficult parts of homeschooling is not the schooling itself.  It’s the “home” part.  The part where we cook, clean, maintain, organize, and sort our lives.  Balancing home and schooling is the hard part.  Relatively speaking, the school part isn’t that tough!

(Not our dinner table)

When I was homeschooling, one way that I coped was by cooking as little as possible.  Don’t get me wrong, I like cooking, and my family has always loved the meals I provide.  We ate every meal together as a family, at the dining table every night.  Still, my goal was to cook as little as possible.

Freezer cooking, cooking in large quantities less frequently, became a standard.  Although I didn’t cook as little as once a month, as many books suggest, I did do large-batch cooking every few weeks.  It really helped me feed my wonderful family while cooking less often.

If you are interested in freezer cooking, my favorite books are these:

• The Freezer Cooking Manual from 30 Day Gourmet
• Holiday Freezer Cooking from 30 Day Gourmet

There were simple and straight-forward, nothing fancy, and they provided great instruction on how to take my regular home-cooking and adapt it for freezer cooking.  If you get the books, you could almost plan your entire holiday meal ahead of time, and have a much more relaxed family celebration!

My other method for cooking less has become a standard household joke around here.  Costco.  I relied on Costco.  Costco lasagna, salad mixes…  See, I’m not too embarrassed to confess it!  I’m really being brutally honest here! My best meals have come from Costco!  Especially as the kids got older, and their activities took us away from home more often, I began to rely heavily on Costco meals.  Sadly, I can’t do that as much anymore.  You’re not going to believe this, but when you don’t have children at home, it’s possible for the Costco-sized chicken to get a freezer burn before you can use it up.  I’m not kidding.

My children are cooking for themselves in college now.  They regularly shop at Costco.  They put meals in the freezer at the beginning of the week.  They can cook for themselves AND make stellar grades, because they have learned to cook as little as possible too!

My apologies to all my friends who grind their own wheat and cook organic all the time.  I hope you’ll still love me!

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I feel very put in my place.  Ashamed.  A little embarrassed, actually.

I feel like I spend half my day telling parents to calm down, and not stress over the tiny details about course descriptions.  After all, is anyone REALLY going to go over it with a fine tooth comb AND a microscope?

Well, I can dish it out, but I can’t take it.  I was massively stressing over the cover for my new book.  I can only put 250 words on the back cover, and I wanted to include both a description of the book and some fabulous recommendations from friends (Thanks Ann, Heidi, Robin, Lori, and Bryan, by the way.)  I sent different options to my editor, Jill, asking which 250 word option was best.

Her answer?  She encouraged me to eat ice cream!  She says, “They’re very similar, so ultimately I would encourage you to not stress too much over it!  Both capture interest, and draw you in.  Go eat some ice cream.”

LOLOL!!!  OK, I feel put in my place.   “Jill is to course descriptions as Lee is to book cover…..”
OF COURSE I”M STRESSED OUT!!!!

Ladies, go ahead and stress out all you want, and I’ll save you some ice cream!

I’ve been nominated for Best Encourager in the 2009 Homeschool Blog Awards.  Thank you!! I would appreciate your vote!

How do you deal with friends and family that don’t approve?  There is the snippy way, which I don’t really recommend! There are other options as well, though!

Lee,  I was wondering about relatives or friends who upon learning your child was now homeschooled decided to test them on information. They did not do this to a child who is in public school. How do you respond to this type of behavior which I think is rude?
~ Karen (no state, to protect the innocent!)

Dear Karen,

LOL!!!  Are you kidding??  My husband’s family is FILLED with teachers – FILLED!  I’ve been grilled so many times, I can’t even begin to tell you!  Sometimes comments can be flat-out rude.  Other times it’s truly just ignorance about homeschooling.  I try to assume they are ignorant at first, and look at it as an opportunity to educate them.

I have a video on the Gold Care Club, in the “Just for Fun” section that has some angry & frustrated responses.  It won’t help, but it may make you feel better! Here is the link;
The Fed-Up Homeschooler’s Wish List

But I don’t ever want you to start with a snippy response.  Start with the assumption that they simply don’t understand, and that once you explain it to them they will “get it.”  Try to answer their questions.  If you don’t know the answer, ask me, and I’ll tell you.

For some people, it’s not going to do anybody any good to even discuss it.  For those people I recommend two things.  First, show them the statistics.  Here is the link:

• Current research
• Printable Handout

Second step, show them a secular source for general college information like this:

• USA Today article
• MIT Homeschool article:
• Nascar winner was homeschooled
• College basketball stars were homeschooled

Finally, there comes a point where you have to politely and sweetly be firm.  “This is my decision, and it does not concern you.  Please do not question my children this way.”

I remember having a birthday lunch, completely surrounded by certified teachers.  One woman grilled me for a long time, using words that I simply didn’t understand.  Finally I said, “I don’t know what you are saying, but I know one thing.  I’m trying to teach my children to love reading, the same way I’m teaching them to love their Bible.  I don’t need to understand those words you are telling me.  I just have to teach them to love reading.”

Later, I literally heard her tell the truth to another teacher sitting next to her.  “I didn’t understand what I said either, it was just a question I got last week on my Master’s program test, and I thought I’d ask her.”  So yeah.  That was rude, LOL!

The thing I can say that will help the most is this.  Know your child, and trust yourself.

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Hi there, Mr. HomeScholar here…

It has come to my attention that homeschool dads will sometimes struggle understanding their wives.  Lee asked me to help explain the homeschool mom perspective to the dads out there.

As a public service, I wanted to share my Homeschool Mom Universal Translator with your husband.  Could you please pass this on to him?  Consider it my gift to you…

You might want to cut this out and keep it in your wallet for handy reference.

(Moms…If you think of any others I might have missed, please feel free to post a comment.)

Blessings,

Matt

PS.  Get our FREE email mini-course, “The 5 Biggest Mistakes Parents Make Homeschooling High School.“  I promise you will love it or DOUBLE your money back!!

The first year of homeschooling is such an adventure!  It’s hard to balance school stuff that matters (like reading, writing, and math) against the school stuff that simply isn’t necessary when you are homeschooling (desks, tests, and watching the clock.)

Even if you know you are supposed to be homeschooling, it can still be pretty intimidating.  If you need a boost of encouragement, watch my video on “How do you know you can homeschool high school?”

First of all, feeling insecure and afraid is how moms have been feeling through all the ages, particularly when starting a new stage – ANY new stage.  I’m guessing that is how you felt when you brought home your newborn, right?  However, there are some curriculum choices that can make you feel MORE inadequate and scared than necessary.  Curriculum that is originally intended for a school setting will assume that the teacher knows the material.  Curriculum originally intended for a homeschool will assume that the parent knows nothing about the subject.  You are more likely to feel inadequate when you use curriculum intended for a school setting.  Here is my article about other ideas for choosing curriculum:
10 No-Fail Strategies for Choosing High School Curriculum.

When you are in a school, everything is separated by age groups.  When you are homeschooling, you can recognized that grade levels don’t matter, it’s the LEARNING that matters.  You may be able to group the kids together in many or most of their subjects.  As long as they are learning, then that’s the thing that matters.  You can use a curriculum that is intended for multiple ages, like Sonlight or Tapestry of Grace, etc.  Or you can just use a regular curriculum each one of them has not yet been exposed to.  So for example, they may all do chemistry this year together.  I did all of our schoolwork together, except for math, all the way through high school, even though my children are over two years apart.

What curriculum you decide on doesn’t really matter, because it’s more about the fit between your curriculum and your children.  You just want to choose a curriculum that is a good fit for you.  On the other hand, if it is NOT a good fit for you, then it’s best to make a curriculum change.  That’s the benefit of homeschooling – you can change when things aren’t working.

There are a million ways to save money when homeschooling.  On the other hand, I think a first year homeschoolers would do best by investing in their ability to succeed.  That’s why I often suggest Sonlight for beginners.  It’s a little bit more expensive, but it can really help your first, most critical year, be successful.

I have a lot of homeschooling beginners on my Gold Care Club.  They call me every week and talk for 20 minutes as part of their membership, and it can really help to get rid of those nagging worries, and feel confident.  Here is more information if you are interested.

Learn how to save money homeschooling with my free Special Report: “7 Secrets to Homeschooling Through a Financial Storm.”

If you have ever reached the end of your rope….. well, you are NOT alone.

It’s nice to be able to share your feelings with another ordinary mom of imperfect children.   Read this letter, and maybe you will see your own feeling.  Christy wrote:

“Help!  Pat me on the back, hug me and tell me he’s not going to be a ditch digger!  My son is skipping half the work in his grammar book, I can’t read what he writes, he’s taken a dive in math (which I put him in a class for), his writing…oy!  The discussion he had with his dad went like this;
Dad: You need to have an 80 average.
Son: Why? 70 is passing.
Dad: Make that a 100 average, then.
This “just passing” attitude permeates everything. I don’t know what to do. I have curtailed as much of my own extra activities during school, in order to be more available. I’m starting to peruse different curriculum again but a different curriculum is not the answer.  I have two more boys coming after him. I’m not sure I’m going to have any nerves left.”

Hi Christy,

I don’t have a real solution for you – sorry!  I can give you some bits of encouragement.

First of all, if you can hang on by your fingernails, it will probably not be a huge problem two weeks from now.  There will be other problems by then, LOL!  Second, I did find it helpful to pull in the reigns when my kids acted like that.  I think the natural tendency is to relax and say “oh well!” throwing up your hands.  But I found that when I became MORE strict (like your Dad example above) that eventually the behavior improved.  In contrast, my friends who would “lighten up” seemed to get much worse behavior in the future.

Have you considered demonstrating what “just passing” means in the adult world?  We would talk to our kids about “airplanes fall out of the sky, or people die” – because my husband is an engineer for Boeing, and I’m a nurse.  By explaining that we had to do our job excellently or their were horrendous consequences, I think they had some small realization that it would matter as an adult.

Is your son in a classroom setting?  Sometimes in coops and other classroom setting you can get that “I’m passing” phenomenon.  That was a major drawback for us in community college.  There were students in community college that thought a 0.7 was passing.  Sure it’s passing… but did they learn ANYTHING?  Ugh!  So check to see if a classroom setting may be affecting them.

On the bright side, each child is different.  Your other kids may not do this!

Do you need a speaker at your next homeschool conference?  Talk to your conference coordinator about having me come.  I would love to meet you in person!  Here is a list of my speaking topics, or you can read my profile on the Homeschool Speakers Bureau.