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When did you start the Delight directed Learning?  Did you find it hard to get through a year-long school course when doing it 4 days a week?  Did you just tell the kids they could do whatever they wanted on the non-school day, or did they have certain things they always did, like going to a class in a homeschool coop?  Did you allow them to watch TV or play video games during the free day?

Dear Diane,

What a GREAT question!  When I speak to groups, I usually try to mention that we homeschooled 4 days a week, and the 5th day was for specialization – also called delight directed learning.  When my kids were young, that 5th day was the day we went skating, swimming, bowling, or to park day for fun.  When my kids got older, that was when Kevin studied chess and taught classes, and Alex studied economics and charcoal drawing.

I think that having a 4 day homeschool can help provide a much-needed “margin” to our busy American lives.  It gives kids a time to be a kid – especially if you have very academic children anyway, they need to be able to lighten-up sometimes!  I don’t think it’s necessarily for everyone, but it was GREAT for us.  I didn’t do a co-op with my children.  Once in a while we would take a class at a local group, just for fun (like “World War 2 Naval Battles” so they could meet other boys their age) but we never used co-ops for their primary courses.

During our fifth day of the week, the boys were still required to get their math and foreign language done.  Later in high school, when I would assign them a week of school at a time, they could choose to do school during that 5th day, so they could take part of Friday off instead.  But the “free day” did come with some rules and regulations.  It was meant for “margin” for “specialization” and independent study.  So there was NO TV allowed – unless it was an educational video from the library.  There was NO COMPUTER or VIDEO GAMES unless those were educational games (as determined by ME, not as determined by them!)   On our “free day,” after dad got home they day was the same as every other day, and they got their usual amount of TV and video game privileges.

My husband has written a series of articles about encouraging delight directed learning called “Raising your Own Superheroes” here:
Part 2:  Observing Passion

Part 2:  Catching Fire

Part 3:  Providing Opportunity

I also have an entire chapter in my transcript book devoted to Delight Directed Learning, and how to incorporate that into a transcript.  Check it out!

Identifying passion in your children is hard – even when they are standing still.  It’s even more difficult when you realize that their passionate interests and pursuits will ebb and flow over time.  Like driftwood floating in the tide, sometimes it appears to be coming to shore, and other times it seems to be going out to sea!  Our children don’t ever seem to stand still, and even their interests are a moving target.

Now that my children are 19 and 21, I can look at their chosen fields (economics and engineering) and remember all the clues they exhibited when they were younger.  I can see that they were born and destined for this work their whole lives.  On the other hand, there were also clues that have completely been lost over the years.  Alex used to draw diagrams all the time.  Architectural drawings and design work that he did for many years.  The interest ebbed and flowed.  One day it was gone.  We still see the twinkle in his eye now and then, when we move around the furniture, or take a tour of a house or business, but mostly it’s just gone.  When Alex was 11, though, I don’t know that I could have told you whether he would be an economist or an architect (or anything else.)  I just knew that he had passionate interests in some very unique things.

I have written often about how important it is to feed your children’s passionate interests.  I think it’s also worth mentioning that those interests may change over time.  It doesn’t mean that you have failed them, or that they have failed somehow to maintain their own interests.  It may just mean they are “done” with that topic, and are ready to move on.  You can certainly drop it, and let them pursue the next thing.

I have a friend with a very musical daughter.  She was very disappointed when her talented daughter quit taking piano.  A year later her daughter was excelling at another instrument (guitar) and leading the worship band with a guitar.  He passionate interest in piano ended – and she went on the do the “next thing” .  It wasn’t a failure, it was more like a completion!

Matt wrote a series of articles on finding passion in your homeschoolers.  You can read the first one here.

I wrote this in 2006:

Our professor friend invited us to a lecture on economics at a downtown Seattle public policy Think Tank.  He said that Alex would love the lecture given by one of the architects of Reagonomics.   “I don’t know why I never thought of it before, but Alex would just love Discovery Institute.  I guess I just didn’t think of it until I saw the lecture on economics.”  My husband took Alex to the event, and we didn’t know what to expect.  When he came home, the first thing he said was, “They offered Alex a job!”

Apparently, Alex was enraptured during the lecture, and when it was time for questions he spoke right up.  He asked something about how Reagonomics was derived from the teachings of Jean Baptiste Say, or something like that.  The President of the company was so impressed with just the question that Alex asked, that he invited him to come and work as an intern there.  Shocked, my husband informed him, “He’s only fourteen!” The President responded, “We don’t discriminate based on age.”

I wondered what this organization was all about.  Alex informed me that a lobbyist tries to influence public policy by convincing politicians.  A think tank tries to influence public policy by convincing the public.  They publish books and write articles for magazines and newspapers, to influence public opinion.  I asked my husband what sort of crowd is attracted to a lecture at a “think tank” and he replied that he and his son were the youngest two people in the crowd.  My husband is a professional engineer, and a manager at Boeing, but he told me he felt like the “least smart” person in the room!

For the last month of summer, we worked to prepare Alex for his new job.  I was completely unprepared for putting my 14year old into the work force.  We had to buy him a cell phone, and professional attire.  He started working in September, his first week of 9th grade.  At first they had him doing office work:  filing, mailing, checking the website, and answering the phone.  Later they gave him writing assignments.  After working there for just 6 months, he had his article on Social Security published in the Seattle newspaper.

Alex worked for one day a week in an office building in downtown Seattle.  He wore a suit, carried a brief case, and was treated like a peer by the other employees.  It would have been completely impossible for him to have that experience if we had not homeschooled.  Public schools simply don’t let students “skip school” every Wednesday, you know?  Instead of sitting behind a desk, he was doing real work.  And homeschooling gave us the freedom to do it!

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We have different gifts, according to the grace given us.  If a man’s gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith.  If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully. (Romans 12: 6-8 NIV)

Finding your child’s area of specialization is an important part of our job as homeschooling parents.  Everyone has their own unique gifts, and some are easier to spot than others.  For whatever reason, I notice that sometimes parents can see their child’s faults easier than they see their strengths.  A gift is something that children will do repeatedly, over and over….. to the point of annoyance!  Check yourself, the next time you feel annoyed at your children.  As yourself, are you looking at their gifts?  Is it annoying and do they do it so much, because that is the way they are wired?  Is this what they are meant to do?

I’m not saying that all mothers will get annoyed at their children, but I sure did!  Look at the things they do that annoy you, and see if it might be because they have different gifts then you.  Then ask yourself:  how can I encourage this gift in my child?

Do this and you will be helping your child understand their gifts and calling.

I have a lot more to say about discovering your children’s gifts in my 5 part mini-course, “5 Biggest Mistakes Parents Make When Homeschooling High School.“  I know it will bless your family.