“My child isn’t interested in ANYTHING!!!” I hear that fairly often, especially with younger children. Hang on! It’s like children learning to ride a bicycle. They use training wheels for so long, until you think they’ll never learn to ride on their own. Then suddenly – they’re off! If you are in the “training wheels” stage, what can you do when your child doesn’t seem interested in anything?
Hi Lee, What if your 13 year old daughter isn’t interested in anything….or so she says. Loves to read but says she’s not interested in reading anything “educational”. Seems uninterested in most things the last year or two. Help?
Dear Kim,
It’s extremely common for kids that age to not be interested in anything. I have talked to quite a few people that have really complained about this problem – and then they call me the next year to explain that their child suddenly “caught fire!” I think there are some things you can do that will help.
First, expose them to a wide variety of different experiences and subjects. That’s why colleges like to see core subject covered – to make sure kids have caught an area of interest! So make sure you have all the usual subjects covered.
Second, look for an area of passion where you least expect it. What I notice is that often kids will have an interest, but neither the student or the parent recognizes it as “passion.” Instead they may label it as “annoying” or “just fun.” We actually made a funny video of how annoying it was to have chess and piano as interests of my children. Here is an article about how you can find areas of interest using your own “annoy-0-meter”. Use Your Annoy-O-Meter Skillfully. Here is a video of when passions became too much for one annoyed mom!
Third, think about passion as something you encourage in your children over four years of high school, not as something they START high school with. My husband has written a series of articles called Raising Your Own Superheroes on developing interests in children.
Raising Your Own Superheroes: Step One – Observing Passion
Raising Your Own Superheroes: Step Two – Catching Fire
Raising Your Own Superheroes: Step Three – Providing Opportunity
Finally, when you are thinking about passion, remember to look outside of academics. Some kids don’t “love” books, but they love “doing” something. That can be a passion too! So if your daughter loves babysitting, or baseball or beach combing, those things may end up being a passion too. Look beyond school work and academics, but at the whole person.
My eldest (the passionate chess player) has just started his own blog! Kevin is writing about Engineering and Life (emphasis on the engineering!) It would be great if you could encourage him with a comment. Here is the link: http://kevinbinz.blogspot.com/ (Good luck understanding his post. It was way beyond me!)
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Christianbook.com Curriculum Page
Cheryl Lanahan says:
Lee, again! THANKS for the great information and encouragement. It gives me hope for my kids who haven’t found their passion yet. I will be paying more attention to those things that annoy me!
September 7th, 2009 at 11:07 am
Olivia says:
I couldn’t agree more with your assessment.
By the way, I am finding your high school information to be very reassuring and helpful. Thank you!
September 7th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
Lee says:
Thanks, Olivia and Cheryl! It’s very encouraging to hear that it helps you!
Blessings,
Lee
September 7th, 2009 at 8:39 pm
J W says:
I know someone who was not given the opportunity to pursue passions – this person’s family was dirt poor and lessons in X and Y were beyond their means. This person seems to think that my children should be doing X and/or Y simply because my children have displayed a bit of aptitude for X and Y, and (this person thinks) all children ought to do X and Y. My childrens’ passions lie elsewhere – in fact, one of my kids has made it absolutely clear that X and Y are the last things on earth she wishes to pursue. I just can’t convince the person that one cannot possibly succeed in X or Y if one’s heart isn’t in it, and forcing a child to do something that requires a great deal of discipline and hard work will only engender resentment. There are children who take to X and Y like ducks to water, and the world is a better place because of them. The world will be a better place because of my childrens’ passions too – whatever they end up doing as adults! I can’t imagine forcing any other child to do what my children do naturally, eagerly, and with a great deal of dedication. The vast majority of kids would scream and run away at the very idea of pursuing A and B to the extent that my children do!!!
September 9th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
J W says:
Oh, and by the way, I was interested in everything. So I earned a degree in television production in order to be able to make TV shows about anything.
September 9th, 2009 at 7:49 pm