Nikki wrote:
This is only my 2nd year to Homeschool; it is sad when your child knows more than you do. I need the help for me so I will understand what he is talking about when he asks me a question; I answer him; he tells me no that answer is wrong.
~Nikki
Dear Nikki,
I wanted to answer your concerns in the blog comment you left me. It’s SO OK for your child to know more than you do! You don’t HAVE to know all the stuff they are learning – that’s their job, not yours. Remember that you want your children to become self-learners, so that they can succeed in college or in their career. Knowing how to teach yourself is one of the most important indicators of success, so what your child is doing now is a GREAT thing.
But also, I did have a strategy for “the answer is wrong” concern. Sometimes the answer keys ARE wrong. But most homeschool curriculum will have a support email, or an 800 number you can call. When they think an answer in the answer key is wrong, you can contact the book author and find out. Later on, when I got frustrated with my children because of that, I would tell them that their answer had to look EXACTLY like the answer key. If it didn’t the answer was marked wrong unless my child called or emailed the author to get the corrected answer. That put it in the hands of my children to solve the problem, and not me.
It’s wonderful that homeschooling will allow your children to learn at their own pace, even when they know more than you! It’s a good thing, Nikki, not a bad thing.
Your teenager has a lot to learn in order to be successful in homeschool high school. As the parent, there is a lot for us to learn too! In your role as teacher, coach and guidance counselor, there is a lot of information that you need to internalize in order to successfully navigate the high school waters. Now, help is available with the Gold Care Club! Learn more about all the parent training helps and assistance that is available.
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Luke Holzmann says:
Agreed: Let them surpass me!
~Luke
April 17th, 2009 at 8:30 am
J W says:
Yep. The only times I allow my daughter to roll her eyes at me are when 1) I butcher the pronunciation of some French word, and 2) when I attempt to talk about anything that has to do with knitting or crocheting.
April 21st, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Carol says:
Hi Nikki,
I think it is important to model how to handle being wrong gracefully as well as reminding him that knowledge is not the same as wisdom and experience ~ we have all known people who may have much book knowledge but not a lot of perspective, love and laughter. I realize that my son knows much more than I do in many areas and that my ‘answers’ are often wrong but I am able to laugh at myself, direct him to find the answer, as Lee says, and also in some cases say “mankind doesn’t have the answer to that yet”.
My son is now 16 1/2 and it has been years since we accepted that he was smarter than both his parents.
July 25th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
Lee says:
LOL! Carol, I love this!
“mankind doesn’t have the answer to that yet”
That’s awesome!
Blessings,
Lee
July 26th, 2009 at 5:59 am
Jeff Thompson says:
Rather than sad, I think it’s exciting!
A couple of years ago, my daughter did Bridget Ardoin’s excellent “High School Physical Science in Your Home”, http://scienceforhighschool.com/physcisamples.shtml . It was a good course, but the last section on rocks and minerals was a piece of cake for my daughter who obsesses on the topic. (So does my dad, but it seems to have skipped my generation.) I decided to do something I haven’t hardly ever done. I gave her a test on the material. I wandered around the house and found rocks and minerals scattered everywhere on the shelves and asked her to identify them.
The exchange went about like this:
Me: What is this?
Her: Aragonite.
Me (in a conspiratorial whisper): Is that what it is?
Her: Of course!
I gave her an A.
August 27th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
Kimberely says:
I believe I have made the mistake in some areas of “over teaching” and not letting my kids “self teach”….how do I remedy this? A couple of my kids may resist this change as their personalities like me to sit next to them and “motivate” them all day to get work done.
September 25th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
Lee says:
Hi Kimberely,
Here is an article that may help, called “Letting Go of Teaching.”
http://heartofthematteronline.com/letting-go-of-teaching/
If you need more help, call me on Wednesdays during my office hours, OK? I’d love to talk with you! Here is information about my free office hours:
http://www.thehomescholar.com/free-homeschool-consulting.php
Blessings,
Lee
September 26th, 2009 at 6:53 am
Corine says:
So True! I think a lot of parents don’t homeschool simply because they know they don’t know all that their kids need to learn so feel inadequate. If only they realized how normal it is… and that their kids know lots of things that their public school teachers don’t know, too!
June 12th, 2010 at 6:13 pm
Kaari says:
This happens a lot with topics that particularly interest my children, and especially as they get older. My oldest was frustrated with the park specialist who did not know we have water beetles here, and had no answers about the tiny frogs we have encountered. But our homeschool support person encouraged my son to keep attending and find answers and make contacts with local staff until he can make friends and connections with knowledgeable people in his field of interest.
We as parents may not have the answers; but we can encourage and direct their attention and focus until they get to the resources or people they need.
July 5th, 2010 at 11:18 pm
Bev says:
This happened long ago, and it took me a while to get used to the idea. Now when people ask me how I teach pre-calculus, etc., I answer that I don’t – I just coach!
March 18th, 2011 at 8:06 am
Rebecca G. says:
Lee,
I want to say that I appreciate all that I am learning through you.
I have a 15 year-old who is so computer savvy. He helps me out when I have had problems with my computer. He protects his computer with anti-virus software that he approves of. I am very proud of him. I don’t mind that he knows more than me. Sometimes, people become experts at different subjects, and that is a good thing.
Rebecca
Rebecca G.´s last [type] ..Training Up a Child
March 27th, 2011 at 9:11 pm
Lee says:
Thanks Rebecca! I appreciate your encouragement!
Blessings,
Lee
March 28th, 2011 at 9:48 am
Get Smart(er) | Sonlight Blog says:
[...] agree with Lee’s thoughts. And I love the way that homeschooling encourages everyone to learn more. Love [...]
May 23rd, 2011 at 10:20 am
Susan K. Stewart says:
One curriculum company talks of learning gaps as though it’s something that can be fixed. The fact is we all having learning gaps of some kind.
I filled in some of my gaps while teaching my children by learning along with them.
June 15th, 2011 at 2:58 am