I believe that older teens MUST learn how to teach themselves. If they go to college, they will be expected to learn all the textbook material on their own. College lectures are most often supplemental to the textbook – not the same. If they don’t go to college, they will still have to teach themselves some computer skills, or online banking, or how to buy a car – whatever.
My kids taught themselves Advanced Math (pre-Calculus) and Calculus. They taught themselves physics. I know they knew the material because I gave them the tests. I didn’t know what the calculus symbols meant, but I knew that my kids answers matched the answers on the key! I could have taught them Biology and Chemistry (because I’m an RN and I know that stuff) but they actually taught themselves that as well. It just worked out better for us when they were teaching themselves, while I just checked up on them from time to time. Alex taught himself economics, and is now doing graduate level work in economic thought (we’ve been told by his professor.) He even taught himself psychology and business law, because he got fabulous grades on the college level CLEP exams in those subject.
Here’s my point: kids will teach themselves something when they are interested in it. It’s fine for kids to do that, and it works out great for kids that are working on an intensely academic, college-prep curriculum as well as for kids that are in a relaxed homeschool environment.
I have seen SO many notes about “getting it all done” that I just want to put in a plug for mom having prayer and quiet time. I found that when I was consistent with those things I could “get it all done” and when I wasn’t consistent with those things I got frustrated. Either I was expecting too much, or was frustrated too easily. When I spent time with God, then things went much more smoothly in our homeschooling.
What do you think?
Blessings,
Lee
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Christianbook.com Curriculum Page
MIchelle says:
WOW! that gave me a breath of fresh air…I haven’t been teaching math for a long time and was letting them “learn” it on their own….They have always tested well. Now as two of my children are in High School the pressure is ON! And this little blog helped me to breath easy…
August 11th, 2008 at 4:57 am
Lee says:
Dear Michelle,
This post was written almost a year ago, and I’m SO glad that it helped you today! My husband and I were talking about this topic just this weekend, at the convention. One “expert” was saying that you should never show your children the answer key. Huh??? That’s how my kids learned physics, Latin, calculus – and went on to engineering school! We simply could NOT have done it without that strategy!
Do what works, Michelle! Do what works!
Blessings,
Lee
August 11th, 2008 at 5:30 am
Mary says:
Thank you for that message. I needed that today. Sometimes I do get frustrated, lost, and intimidated by all the things on the list for a homeschooling mom of kids of many ages. I just need to step back and remember to be consistent with my prayer and personal preparation time, and all things will fall into place. I need to nurture my faith! Thanks for reminding me of that.
I appreciate your messages of wisdom and encouragement.
May 12th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Lee says:
Dear Mary,
Big hugs to you! I’m glad it helped!
Blessings,
Lee
May 12th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Helen says:
Lee,
I agree that students need to be able to digest the material from the textbooks to some extent on their own, but college profs actually explain a lot of what is in the textbook. The best methodology for college is: read ahead, then you are better prepared to understand the lecture, then review your notes and read ahead for the next lecture.
I think the sciences are particularly important in this way. Having a “teaching” format for them means that the students get a better chance to discuss and get a deeper understanding of the material. When I don’t “teach” it to them myself, I don’t have the context to have that kind of intelligent discussion that they need.
May 16th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Lee says:
Hi Helen,
Great points! Reading ahead is a real key for success in college.
In many university courses, the professor will lecture on some concepts but other concepts are learned from reading the textbook. At the college level, professors rarely repeat anything in the book. It’s important for students to learn from watching someone speak (in a lecture) and learn from books (like a textbook.) At large colleges, freshman classes will have hundreds of students will little possibility of discussion. I think it’s good to be prepared either way. But like everything, take what will work for your family.
Blessings,
Lee
May 16th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
HomeSchoolMom says:
Lee-
Your advice here is priceless for moms considering homeschooling high school students. Parents seem to think that they need to be brilliant at every subject that their kids need to learn.
I have always thought that we just need to be good at keeping them motivated and pray a lot!
Thanks for the great advice, as always!
May 18th, 2009 at 5:44 pm
anne says:
Dear Lee
I’m just new to your wedsite. As an Australian mum homeschooling 2 highschoolers (sitting down for breakfast while you’re probably all asleep over there!), I can feel a little isolated sometimes. Geographically, people are further apart here.
But thanks for reminding me that the
issues are the same anywhere. When I stick to facilitating a good work/study environment for my 2 teens, they are much more self disciplined in their approah to study. Im a much nicer person to be around too!
Blessings from Aussie Land
May 26th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Julie says:
This idea of NOT teaching your homeschool child brought my 8th grader’s interest back into math. We were having a continual struggle with trying to teach him math, and he hated it. Finally, I told him about your idea – he was to teach himself. We bought a math book he picked out, and we help when needed. But now he’s learning algebra easily with no struggles and no fights with mom. It feels like a ground breaking concept to me.
I also realized that most of what my husband and I currently do for our careers hadn’t been around when we were in school — such as the entire web, most of the programming languages, shopping carts, online business, etc. So we learned it on our own. Our kids are going to have to be able to teach themselves just to stay up with the current technologies.
May 28th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
Lisa Hydock says:
Hello Lee,
I’m so glad I read your post today! I have stated the very same things, numerous times, to my family. For a few years now, my teens have been teaching themselves. As you said, I have no clue what those math symbols are, but I can see if the answers match those of my students. I allow my students access to the teacher’s manual as well – it’s been the best way for them to learn.
Also, I feel like my whole day is “out’a whack” when I don’t get my quiet prayer and devotional reading in for the morning. I believe my time with the Lord each morning is what keeps me going, keeps the attitude straight, and just gives me strength.
Your article is extra confirmation that I’m doing O.K. as a home school Mom. Sometimes it’s nice to hear that it’s O.K. not to force ‘school at home’ – and just have fun with it and let the kids pursue their own interests – learning all the while.
Thanks again for your encouragement.
Sincerely.
July 5th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
Stacy says:
I’ve been reading the blogs about ‘not’ teaching your children. We have the opposite problem. My son is starting the 9th grade and has had problems in Math, teaching himself. After a year or so of bumping heads in the subject, we had him do Math online last year so he could be more in control. It went okay, but he wasn’t doing the equations on paper (much)like I told him he should (therefore he wasn’t learning the formulas/patterns). He mostly could do them in his head. So when the problems got a bit harder, he didn’t do so well and got stumped. I think turning them loose to teach themselves is a process. I thought he was ready.. but he wasn’t as ready to go solo as I’d thought. Now, we’re starting again with me helping explain the lesson, making sure he writes the problems out and understands the process. Letting him explain the lessons to me and then showing me how they are done will be my goal for this coming year. I don’t want to ‘teach’ him Math this year, I long for him to be more independent, but what option do I have? If he isn’t naturally self motivated in Math, he has to be taught. I know he has self discipline because he’s an accomplished violinist. He says Math just isn’t his thing. Any suggestions?
July 23rd, 2009 at 10:47 pm
Lee says:
Hi Stacy,
Try having your son choose his own curriculum. Sometimes the one mom chooses just isn’t the right fit. Here is a blog post on some ideas for math:
http://www.thehomescholar.com/blog/homeschool-high-school-math-choosing-curriculum/1097/
Blessings,
Lee
July 24th, 2009 at 7:45 am
Stacy says:
I am glad you suggested that, because HE chose to go with Jacob’s Elem. Algebra this year, from several options. The conversational style and the interesting way the lessons are introduced will (I am hoping) hold his attention better than just dry instructions and a page of problems. I want him to see Math as applicable to his life and think this is just what the ‘doctor ordered’!
July 28th, 2009 at 8:54 pm
Tonya says:
Amen! Thank you for this. My sons taught themselves Physical Science, Physics and Biology this past year and did great. What a blessing. Once in a while that feeling creeps in that I should be teaching this material. It’s nice to hear the confirmation. You are right they must learn to learn. Thank God they are.
September 14th, 2009 at 5:08 am
Jean says:
Lee,
I totally agree with everything you have said about children teaching themselves at the high school level. Something that hasn’t been brought out yet (but you have addressed it in other blogs)is the fact that you need to choose a curriculum that is “self-teaching.” A lot of popular home school curriculum are actually created for a classroom setting. I used one for a while for all my subjects and just about totally burned out because of the load on me, and the fact that my child and I butted heads constantly. Luckily, it was in the junior high years and not in high school. When I found that there was curriculum such as Apologia Science that speaks directly to the student so that they can teach themselves from the textbook, I was elated! My child learns best by teaching anyway, so why not have her teach herself? She will do much better that way. I think it is wiser to spend your time as a homeschooling mom doing research into what curriculum you should use rather than trying to learn a subject and teach it to your child. I have had a burden lifted from me by doing this, and my child is pretty much a totally independent learner. I just keep her on task and tell her what she can get by with and what she can’t…because that’s what a mom does! Thank you so much for all your wisdom that you share with us about being a homeschooling mom.
November 4th, 2009 at 9:24 am
Viane says:
Awesome article. This year I have given the learning reigns to my 10th grade daughter. I am a little nervous but it is all good.
November 4th, 2009 at 9:26 am
Deb says:
I love this article! My son has been teaching himself for years, now. I help when needed. We discuss what he has learned, mainly because he loves to tell me about it! He is 15 years old and currently he is learning Physics online with the Thinkwell program. The lectures are great and my son loves to share them with me, because quite often, they are funny. He is learning Algebra 2 from a textbook of his choice. We are a part of a charter school. The teacher that we work with says that we let him follow his own course and it must be working because he will be graduating a year early. His grade point average was 3.875 last semester.
November 5th, 2009 at 7:42 am
Beth says:
The problem is… not all kids are interested in algebra or precalculus, chemistry, etc… and get overwhelmed when they are expected to do it themselves–they sit for hours lost or just give up and go on Facebook or iTunes. Yet, they are forced to take it as a graduation requirement in case they go to college. (Fortunately I can afford a tutor). Not all kids are meant to go to college right out of high school or ever. Some may need or want to go into a trade. It’s frustrating for parents who don’t have children who take the initiative to self learn or have “ADD”, or have kids that just have other interests-I wish I had good advice for that kind of situation, because I have the opposite situation. Am I the only one?
November 7th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
Beth says:
Oops, I meant I have the opposite situation that Lee had.
November 7th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Faith says:
Beth -
You are NOT the only one! My 7th grader is currently “anti-academics”, and firmly set against college. She loves to read, look things up on the internet, and talk about anything unrelated to math, history, science, grammar or language. I assigned a report (1 page, nothing too fancy) and she was able to find a book (by an excellent author, no less) within 25 minutes, locate a library and a bookstore that had it, and figure out how long it would take us to get there (consequently calculating whether we would make it before it closed). But she is completely paralyzed at the thought of writing 5 paragraphs about Joan of Arc. I think you’re best off making sure they know how to locate the information they need: basically make sure they know how to learn. Can they make an appointment (time management)? Cancel a subscription (inter-personal skills)? Dispute a credit charge (2 for 1 – math & behaving graciously under pressure)? How about file a witness report with the police (observation & conveying clear, concise facts in writing)? These are everyday uses of common academic skills, but few people teach them. My best math advice is to let them see you use it. Figure up how much your car REALLY cost. Decide whether it’s better to finance a big-screen TV through the store at 0% interest (with the fine print, of course!) or on your credit card. Find out what their dream job is, how much it pays, then see if they can afford the house they want on that amount of money. Adjust it for inflation from the last however many years. Have them balance an old ledger, or fill out a tax form. If you’ve had to do it during your adult life, they should know how to do it, too. Call it Applied Mathematics, or Consumer Math. If they can find out how much they need to earn to buy their dream house and figure out what job they need to get there, I’d say they’ve got a good handle on things.
December 11th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
What are the Primary Colors?….Red, yellow, and Blue???? « Talibiddeen Jr. Companion Blog says:
[...] don’t know or heck, just teach your kids, without you, the middle man/woman. Interesting read: Why you SHOULDN’T Teach your Homeschoolers. (Although I agree with some of the points she is making, I love to teach my big kids still— [...]
December 14th, 2009 at 6:28 am
karen says:
I had that same question. Lee, were your sons just naturally interested in higher math in order to teach themselves? I don’t know if my sons would take that on themselves with my insistence. I have been working on division and mulitiplication skills with my 9 year old because he kept telling me he couldn’t remmber how to do it. I told him well until you show me you can do it we will have to practice. This went on for weeks. Suddenly yesterday he told me he wanted to do something as his Birthday was coming up. I said that we would be taking a nice long break for Christmas but I wanted to finish our practice on his math. He did it in just a few minutes in his head. Large division problems he was doing in his head!. I asked how long have you been able to do this and he said always. Go figure. I am still stunned. LOL but what a waste of those weeks. I can’t figure out why he didn’t tell me sooner.
December 18th, 2009 at 7:43 am
Lee says:
Karen,
I have one child of each kind. I have one child that loves math and one child that tolerates math. I bought them a self-teaching curriculum, and I scheduled what they were to do each day. It was required that they did their math assignments, but they taught themselves using the curriculum that I chose.
It can help to make math “fun”. We used Family Math when the kids were young. Here is a blog post about that:
http://www.thehomescholar.com/blog/how-to-use-family-math/290/
This blog post about “not teaching” isn’t specifically about math, it’s more about general “self-teaching.” For more information about the importance and value of math specifically:
http://www.thehomescholar.com/blog/why-is-math-important/22/
Blessings,
Lee
December 18th, 2009 at 8:26 am
adrienne says:
YES! I agree 100%. I am a mom of 4 kids and 2 are sophomore and junior. They are 100% self study and we love it. I am a Charlotte Mason support group leader and this is the way to go. The goal of Charlotte Mason’s way it for the child to own what they learn and become self learners. It is wonderful.
February 1st, 2010 at 4:49 pm
Elaine Butler says:
I am happy to say that this is my experience as well. Motivated kids with parents who can help find them the materials to study are way ahead of unmotivated kids being told what to do each day. Even kids who are not motivated to do anything are likely to find their motivation when the motivated life is modeled for them, instead of being enforced. The consequence of not doing anything is not that you will be a failure for life. It’s that you will be bored and unhappy. Sometimes they have to learn that themselves!
February 6th, 2010 at 2:45 pm
Jennifer Sikora says:
Thanks Lee for this. I am ordering our kids curriculum this year that is self teaching so that they can begin to learn how to teach themselves.
This was an awesome post.
February 15th, 2010 at 11:04 am
Kathy Koltes says:
Lee,
I like this advice. Ithink my son learna better when I’m not in the same room with him. I will let him pick out the curriculum he wants to learn from.
February 18th, 2010 at 4:11 pm
laurie says:
I have a freshman in high school and I am trying to get him ready for learning on his own for college. This was exactly what I needed to hear. Sometimes I feel like I am not doing enough and become frustrated but then you realize that you don’t have to be supermom.
February 28th, 2010 at 11:25 am
carol says:
I agree to a point Lee ~ certainly we cannot force actual learning just like you can’t force feed children..we can offer good learning materials and opportunities but true learning has to be done by the student. However, I do think it is difficult if your child does NOT have any interest in any academic subjects, like yours did. What if you have a child who has no interest in math or learning a second language or writing (except on the computer)or economics or history or psychology or geography. What if their ONLY passion is music or bike riding or car mechanics and they will spend hours each day doing that or they only are interested in reading science fiction or whatever? It is a lot of work to try to expand these interests into “sujbjects” and sometimes when I have tried to relate these to academic subjects there is tremendous resistance and still no interest. Or even worse…what if you have a very passive child with no evidence of initiative or passion in ANY subjects or areas? I think there are so many special exceptions to this idea…maybe?
March 2nd, 2010 at 5:32 am
Lee says:
Great comment Carol! It is important to cover the core subjects while pursuing delight directed learning. Here is a blog post that may help:
http://www.thehomescholar.com/blog/help-my-child-isnt-interested-in-anything/1709/
Thanks for your interesting comments!
Blessings,
Lee
March 2nd, 2010 at 10:26 am
Donna says:
I myself am a show-me learner and I did
very well in college. Although I admire
people who possess the skill to self-teach in every subject matter, I do not. (There will be tutors and learning centers at college for those who need them.) Witholding instruction from students who truly need help can stop progress. Thankfully, my son teaches me computer skills. I am thrilled that my homeschooled teenagers love to learn!
March 4th, 2010 at 11:05 am
Pam says:
If you let someone else “teach” them, is that the same? For instance, we’re using Teaching Textbooks for my oldest. I helped alot with Algebra, but I haven’t been doing much “assisting” with Geometry this year. He gets it all from the text and computer “lectures” & explanations.
March 15th, 2010 at 4:38 am
Lee says:
Hi Pam,
Yes, that’s what I’m talking about is finding resources OTHER than mom (or teacher) to get the information. Using a video tutor is exactly the kind of thing that can help.
Blessings,
Lee
March 15th, 2010 at 11:48 am
Sharon says:
Hi, my name is Sharon, and this is such a relief. Knowing that it is possible for your children to teach themselves and be successful in life. And it makes sense that they will be more interested in learning a subject they are interested in. I espeacially liked the comment made about learning everyday skills. As far as I know the public school systems do not teach these skills, but they are very much needed skills for children to know. I’am very Thankful for this forum.
March 29th, 2010 at 6:57 am
Rose says:
Does anyone have any suggestions for self-motivating curriculums? I am looking to change our curriculum next year. My children do not enjoy school and I want homeschooling to be a great memory. I am kicking around the idea of unit studies for next year. My children will be in 8,7,4/3, 1 and a preschooler next year.
Thanks for any suggestions.
April 13th, 2010 at 2:14 am
Rollingstonemom says:
Thanks, Lee. This is how my 2 dc have been “homeschooled” since they came home from public school – 4 years ago. They are both working at a 10th grade level, with the younger child “teaching” the older more often than not. I’ve been a little worried if they were REAKKY doing as well as I have felt they were doing (both getting A’s & B’s on tests). *sighs with relief*
April 24th, 2010 at 7:41 am
Cindy Blackwell says:
I absolutely agree with you! We labor in vain if we do not allow God to help us build our house. If I don’t seek Him out first thing in the morning, my whole day runs off course.
I like the idea that it is up to my children to learn rather than my ability to teach. When I ask the Holy Spirit to guide our day, it is as if we are following a well planned script. It works best when I follow His lead.
April 25th, 2010 at 1:28 pm
Corine says:
Hi! Great post! This has been on my mind quite a bit lately. I was a completely self-taught homeschooler, and that was very good for me. The things I taught myself I really excelled in. But there was the issue of being given complete control over my studies; I got to both study, and “not” study, any subject of my choosing – nothing was required! I think a little guidance and a few requirements would have been beneficial! However, I did LOVE to study, and I did do very well in college despite the gaps in my education where I lacked interest etc.
Any suggestions for specific self teaching curriculum?
May 6th, 2010 at 11:21 pm
Lee says:
Dear Corine,
Curriculum developed for homeschoolers will be a good self-teaching curriculum. Curriculum developed for schools assumes that the teacher understands the concepts contained in the book; Latin, or calculus or whatever. Homeschool curriculum assumes that the parent knows nothing about the subject. Whatever is needed for teaching the concepts will be provided – usually with some sort of support by phone or email. The best way to find self-teaching curriculum is to use curriculum developed specifically for homeschoolers.
I hope that helps!
Blessings,
Lee
May 7th, 2010 at 5:32 am
carol says:
You know, I just reread your article and many of the comments. I agree with most of them, but I did have another thought to add: your children self-taught, primarily the subjects they were interested in and then you tested them. What if you have a child who does not test well? They read the material, they think they understand it, they willingly do the work….and consistently score about 60% on the test…or worse! Then you got a problem with the self teaching, don’t you?
July 22nd, 2010 at 12:52 pm
Tammy says:
Thanks so much for your wisdom and tips. I am also grateful for your bold testimony of how keeping Christ FIRST and spending time with Him really makes all the difference.
Thanks for sharing for all of us who are still on the journey behind you…following your footprints along the way! : )
August 14th, 2010 at 12:08 pm
Kate says:
Thanks again for telling me just what I needed to know today! I have been feeling like, I don’t really “teach” my kids anymore. I miss it sometimes but they are in high school homeschool and doing fine! I have just these past few days been thinking, is this ok, is this what I should be doing??? I just ck on them periodically and make sure that I ask them questions about the work that they are doing or subjects that they had to read about.Thanks for your note about quiet time, I find that as well! Seek ye first the kingdom of God.. Thanks for all you do!
Kate
October 1st, 2010 at 7:44 am
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January 19th, 2011 at 11:17 am
Kim says:
Just the reminder I needed. Thanks for the encouragement from someone who has been “through it”!
February 24th, 2011 at 3:56 pm
Michelle says:
I am so glad that you repost your blog comments. It was a great reminder. I appreciate your insight.
March 11th, 2011 at 10:49 am
Joy Asleson says:
It is a blessing that many of you have high schoolers who love to learn and are excellent at self study. What is not discussed much are kids like mine who have ADHD and are challenged with sustained reading, concentration etc. It can be disheartening to parents like me who are homeschooling and feeling like they are failing miserably because their teen has difficulty being self direct and does not like to read or study (or anything that requires any mental effort). I have had to resort to tutors to help him. Even with tutors, he fights the process. Is there anyone out there who has a teen like this? It sometimes truly feels like I am alone.
May 21st, 2011 at 9:26 am
Pam says:
Wow, what a blessing this post was! I constantly beat myself up if I don’t get to sit down with each of our 4 children and do math etc. This year is going to be different! We even purchased Teaching Textbooks for math for my oldest two. My third child, a son, I do believe has mild ADD, and it is difficult to get him to sit and do his work alone. This fall we add our last child into K and my time will be even more stretched, but this post will really help with my older two children
July 13th, 2011 at 1:54 pm
Teresa says:
I absolutely love this! I definitely needed this as I am looking into another school year. I will remember this and put this to practice as I teach this year. With many children at home, I have never had the “teaching time” thing going really strong, but it has been enough to keep them on the right track. What a relief to know that it is alright for them to just learn and grow, and I can just get out of the way! I set up the framework and they get to build the grand structure of their learning.
August 11th, 2011 at 11:51 pm