Is it Rebellion or Just Growing Up?

March 10, 2009

The words “teenage” and “rebellion” may seem like they go hand in hand, but it hasn’t always been that way.  In the past, getting older meant a child was becoming an adult.  Look at their behavior that you call “rebellion” and ask yourself some questions.  Is this behavior really my child simply becoming an adult?  Because sometimes what we label as rebellion may simply be the child making decisions for themselves.

One thing that may help (MAY help, mind you!) is to think about the choices that other adults make.  If your child makes a decision that you don’t agree with, but it’s a decision that other adults make all the time, maybe it isn’t rebellion at all!  Maybe it is simply your child becoming an adult!  For example, their choice in clothing, or how they style their hair.  Their choices may not be your choices.  But are those choices OK?  If another adult made that choice, would you really be upset or distressed?  Because if not, perhaps it’s an OK choice for your child to make.

Some parents allow their children many choices in their homeschool.  Instead of telling them when each thing must be done, they just tell them WHAT things must be done. “Finish these ten things before 5:00″ for example – leaving them to decide when they want to do each item.  Some children would prefer to get up at 5:00 AM and be done by noon!  Is that wrong?   Or just a choice they make?  What if it’s on the other side?  What if they get up at noon, and don’t finish their schoolwork until 5:00?  IS that wrong, or just a choice?

Frankly, in my home, I truly did make them finish their work by 4:00.  I know that it MAY have been a fine choice for them to make, but it didn’t work well with our family.  I needed my husband to “play the heavy” in some areas, so they had to be done before he got home, in order for him to work his magic and make sure it was all done each day.  We had sports in the afternoons, and I really don’t do well after dinner.  Having them turn in assignments during my own times of fatigue would have been horrendous!  So above all, make sure that you decide what works for you family!

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