“Only” a Small Christian School

August 27, 2009

A slip of the finger and the email goes to the wrong person. It’s mortifying. I always hope it won’t be hurtful to anyone. Recently, though, I was on the receiving end. Someone was writing to a friend about me, and sent it to me instead! Not hurtful at all, but still….. I think it’s an opportunity to explain something.

“While she touts that her boys got into their “first choice schools”…they are small, private Christian colleges. Not Stanford…”

Only a Small Christian School

When my boys were applying to college, there were certain requirements. I wanted a Christian school that could minimize unwelcome socialization. I wanted a school within an hour drive of a family member, in case of roommate disasters. For my youngest son, it had to be a college within driving distance from home, so that he could live at home until he was 18. For my older son, we needed an engineering college, and he didn’t want to leave Washington State.

Last week I heard a father boldly proclaim, “If your child can go to an Ivy League school, they SHOULD go to an Ivy League school.” I disagree strongly. Only a parent will know their unique situation, and only the parents will know where a child SHOULD go to college. While it’s nice to have some general ideas, and apply to a variety of schools, there is simply not one right answer for brilliant kids, or any other kids for that matter.

When my children were applying to college, I had a very small college fund. I recognized that they would be well qualified for a small private Christian college, and would likely receive good financial aid. At the same time, I knew that however smart they are, most of the applicants at Harvard and Yale would be just as smart – or smarter. The chances of financial aid would be slim. We needed big financial aid.

When children are smart (or even very VERY smart) it’s tempting to look toward an Ivy League school. Instead, I encourage people to look at the RIGHT school. For some kids and for some families, that means avoiding some well ranked schools with great reputations. My children had near-perfect SAT scores, but we didn’t even apply to Stanford, Harvard, Yale…. They weren’t a fit for my family.

Parents know best. Know your child and trust yourself. Even if someone else thinks they know what is best for your child, that doesn’t make it true. Only the mom and dad have ALL the details.

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22 Comments »

Christy says:

This is one of the very ugly sides of homeschooling, isn’t it? This idea that homeschooling only has one definition and that to be a successful homeschool, you should imitate the Colfaxes or the Cohens or the Clarks.

A friend of mine recently moved to another state. There, she is being thought poorly of in the local homeschooling community because of their family’s choices. Choices are what makes homeschooling perfect for every family and what makes America great.

Shame on those who hold others to their personal convictions.

August 27th, 2009 at 8:03 am
judi says:

Lee,
Jealousy is an ugly sin but so easy to fall into. You are so right on knowing what is best for your family. My dh and I have been discussing this for awhile. Our children are 14, 13, & 11. So they are just beginning the odyssey towards college. I have been combing through all your links and information and am very grateful for it. We are still trying to find out what will work best for our children. As they get older, we pray that it will become more clear.

judi

August 27th, 2009 at 9:57 am
Scott Somerville says:

My wife and I met and married at an Ivy League school. I then went to Harvard Law School. We’ve NEVER thought about sending our children to any Ivy League institution. We are very happy that one son graduated from Hillsdale College and two daughters chose Patrick Henry College.

August 27th, 2009 at 10:20 am
LeeAnn says:

Good point! We are not quite to the high school stage (next year), but I’m already looking at what our choices include. Recently I learned that my alma mater just changed their policy so that children of graduates can attend and pay in-state tuition. So happy because that is much more affordable with plenty of family around.

August 27th, 2009 at 10:45 am
Sarah says:

Lee,
I agree with you completely that an Ivy League school is not the best choice for every child–probably not for most children, even those who can get in. It is not my aim for my children. However, people should know that the prestigious private schools do offer very, very good financial aid on a needs basis; don’t assume that the option is out if you can’t fund it.

August 27th, 2009 at 10:50 am
Alyce Gatlin says:

Lee, I couldn’t agree with you more. One size does not fit all. I attended a small Christian College. Had I gone to a BIG University, I would have been lost in the crowd. The Lord had me right where He wanted me.

I also feel sad for the person who defines success as an Ivy League education. I used to think that college was mandatory … without college you just can’t be “successful.” I’m changing my mind there too. For some an Ivy League education will be the right choice, for others, it may be a small Christian College, still for others it may be a community college, voc school, or even no college at all. Where is the Lord guiding your child?

August 27th, 2009 at 10:54 am
Lynne says:

i would argue that SPU is not just a “small Christian school.” it is definitely one of the best private schools in the state, if not the northwest or the entire west coast. i know many students who have gone there who are completely not religious whatsoever.

August 27th, 2009 at 11:00 am
Lee says:

LOL! Lynne, now YOU sound like a commercial! Usually that’s MY job! Yes, I think SPU is wonderful, but that’s why it’s a “fit” for us.

The Ivy League schools do provide generous need-based scholarships, even for parents making $130,000 or so (the income level varies by year.) But their definition of what our “need” is, and what we can afford is not the same as paying for the entire cost of college. There are benefits of an Ivy education – you have almost a guaranteed income when you graduate, for example, that would allow you to pay off almost any amount of college debt. It’s just not the right choice for everyone. There are lots of pieces to the puzzle for every family.

Blessings,
Lee

August 27th, 2009 at 11:07 am
Beckie Sibley says:

This is one of your best posts ever! I am so glad I found you just as my children start trickling into the high school years. Thank you!

August 27th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Trickett says:

I’m sortta hoping the Lord wants us to do college online. My husband is doing that, and we love it. I’m not sure how SPU is small. But whatever. It always has impressed me, and some of my teachers went there when I went to college. I really like the fact you know who you are, Lee, and what is best for your family. I know that takes practice, faith, and perserverence. People can say some awful things, even our closest friends. I have personally learned that the hard way. But to be content with what you know to be true makes the verbal blows a bit less harsh. Thank you for sharing.

August 27th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
J W says:

From the quote, I can’t tell if the author of that email was being snarky or if she was simply trying to communicate that the Binz guys didn’t pick Harvard or Princeton. Only Lee knows the full text and has the opportunity to find out what was in that other person’s heart. Let’s not jump down that other person’s throat before giving that person a fair hearing.

Anyway, I agree that someone from a small college can be just as successful as anyone else from any other educational institution.

August 27th, 2009 at 7:07 pm
Kristine says:

Ouch, regardless of the writer’s intent, seeing that would make me uncomfortable.

I remember, Lee, when your boys were working on the college(s) application process, how long and hard you all worked. You have LONG inspired me by sharing your family’s homeschool journey. I continue to pray that my family follows the LORD’s path for my kids’ educations, wherever that leads us, both in the younger years and through college. That is sure to be different for every family, and certainly may be different even for each child within that family!

August 28th, 2009 at 8:10 am
Sandy says:

Your email has come at the perfect time. We too, have a son that is an extremely strong student, etc. and we are getting so much pressure to send him to an Ivy League school. Sometimes I feel we are letting the world of homeschooling down by not pursuing Ivy Leagues. Funny how parents experience peer pressure too! He feels very called, however, to a certain very strong, small Christian college and we are in full agreement that this school seems to be a great fit for him. We truly feel that wherever our son ends up, the Lord will provide the opportunities needed for the next step…law school or whatever. Thanks for your encouragement!

September 1st, 2009 at 4:58 am
Denise M says:

I have two thoughts here.

1) Those schools were your children’s first choice. Their first choice wasn’t Stanford.

2) After having seen the Stanford band in action, knowing the rep that they have AND knowing that the school supports that sort of behavior would take Stanford off the choices of where I would send my child.

I will add third thought…my oldest daughter is going to a community college right now. We are very pleased with the education that she is receiving and we cannot beat the cost. She graduated from a public high school. Daughter number two is likely to attend a community college and go to farrier school. An Ivy League college is not the right fit for every child. The student’s need must be met first, not the title of the school.

December 30th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Lisa Lewis says:

Great article and so much truth! If home schoolers have fought for anything it is freedom of choice.

It is my opinion that the so-called Ivy League schools are nothing more than a breeding ground for liberal status seekers. While this may be a generalization I lived in Cambridge for many years and have to say left with a very bad impression of Harvard students.

The Christian student that attends an ivy league will need to be very well grounded in his or her faith and highly adept at apologetics. While we certainly need students like this to attend these schools the fact is at 18 years old they are few and far between.

We are called to glorify God, not home schooling and sometimes that means following the path the culture is on but usually not.

January 6th, 2010 at 1:23 pm
karen says:

I agree with you Lee. It is the child’s choice. When my boys were in school in the gifted program the parents were pushing these kids so hard telling them that they needed to buckle down to get into “whatever ivy league school they wanted” but they didn’t seem to look at the child’s interests at all. It doesn’t matter to me what college they attend as long as it fits their needs and gets them where they need to be in the career of their dreams.

February 12th, 2010 at 9:05 am
Robin says:

Lee,

I, too, completely agree with your comments. My always homeschooled, bright daughter is now a 1st year student at a very small Christian college in Florida, about 3 hours from our home. (Thanks to dual enrollment & CLEP she entered as a sophomore, but that’s another great homeschool story.)

We didn’t even consider an Ivy League education for her. We, and she, wanted her to continue learning in a Christ-centered environment, where she is taught Truth, and wouldn’t have to constantly “filter out” the humanistic teaching in every class. After all, one of the reasons we choose to homeschool was to pass on the faith, and this has influenced the world view of every class and everything else we’ve done in our homeschool. We wouldn’t want her to be taught from a worldly perspective now or ever! It doesn’t matter to us how “prestigious” anyone, or everyone, thinks that the Ivy League schools are, or what their feelings are on where our bright girl should have gone.

Our daughter made the final decision on which Christian college to attend & is thrilled with her choice! She has made several friends and they even meet together to pray & read Scripture together. Praise God!!

September 12th, 2010 at 10:00 am
Kathy says:

I love your reasoning! MORE magazine frequently published an article about those so-called “top colleges.” Far too often, they aren’t being considered much of a value, even considering their high price and reputations. Undergraduate classes are being taught by graduate students (not professors or even instructors). My daughter does attend a small Christian college. It was her first choice college and she also had near-perfect ACT scores. One of their selling points was that they do NOT have a graduate school, and thus, their classes are all taught by full professors or associate professors. She did have one “visiting” instructor in her piano classes – she came from Julliard in New York!

October 23rd, 2010 at 8:18 am
judi says:

Our local community college has a professor who left Harvard to teach here because he wanted to actually teach students instead of supervising a teachers aide and spending his time “getting published”. He said many undergraduate classes in Ivy league schools aren’t even taught by fully trained professors. Forget it! I will be strongly discouraging my kids from attending Ivy league schools.

March 24th, 2011 at 3:19 pm
June says:

Thank you for this article, Lee. My daughter has two first cousins who are either attending or graduated from Yale. Because my daughter is gifted academically, I too was made to feel that she “should” go to Harvard or another Ivy League school. Yet, she was not interested in going to school across the country. I am happy that she has instead chosen a state school that is far enough away from home for her to have an independent adventure but not so far that we wouldn’t be able to afford to see her more than twice a year!

May 21st, 2011 at 4:18 pm
Colleen says:

I definitely agree. Our first obligation is to provide the education that our child NEEDS in the environment that works best for him/her. Some secular colleges have stated agendas for trying to indoctrinate our children away from faith and godliness. Even “Christian” college may not be the answer for everyone as you can see in my friend’s book review: http://upatdawnreadytowork.blogspot.com/2011/06/already-compromised-book-review.html

Isn’t it interesting that George Washington never attended college, (but he did receive his surveyor’s certificate from The College of William & Mary), yet he seems to have done alright?

July 20th, 2011 at 6:12 am
Sheila says:

Excellent article, and right on time for us and our 14-yr-old daughter just starting homeschool high school. Our now 25 yr-old-son went to a private Christian college, and his music professor turned out to be a godly mentor and close friend to him. He thrived in this setting. Other young people may prefer the setting of a big university, but it wasn’t for us.
Thank you, Lee, for reminding us to follow our hearts!

January 10th, 2012 at 7:09 pm