There is a watershed moment in high school when it comes to parenting boys. When they are younger, your focus is raising an obedient and confident child. Once they get into high school, you have to somehow transition into developing respect for your son as growing man.
Check out the book “Love and Respect.” Instead of reading it as a “husband and wife” book, think about how it pertains to young men. How can you show real RESPECT for your son, when he drives you crazy? Try to find something he is good at, something in his area of specialization, and show him adult-to-adult respect for that skill (as often as you can!)
I also found it helpful when my husband and sons would talk man to man. When they were disrespectful, my husband would say “Don’t treat my WIFE that way” in order to put them on a level playing field. Saying “Don’t treat YOUR MOTHER that way” is reminding them that they are not men. Instead, even in conflict, try to treat them as men.
Believe it or not, raising men is even more challenging than raising boys. It is made easier of you recognize the transition and as parents discuss how to begin to deal with it.
Blessings,
Lee
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Sharon-Momn4boys says:
Just thought I’d let you know I’m reading your blog and enjoying the encouragement from a mom who has been there done that.
I added your button to my blog.
A topic I’d like to see information on is suggestions for mom with a teen looking at military after highschool.
February 17th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
The HomeScholar says:
Hi Sharon,
I’ll post a bit on the military today, and then try to get a larger article about the military for my next newsletter. Thanks for the great question!
Blessings,
Lee
February 18th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
Dawn says:
To this day I remember once when my dad told my sister and I “not to talk to his wife that way.” It was pretty effective with daughters, too.
February 18th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
The HomeScholar says:
Dawn, that’s encouraging! I’m glad to know it works for both… Sadly, I didn’t have any girls.
Blessings,
Lee
February 18th, 2008 at 10:11 pm
Marsha says:
Wow, I had never really thought of it that way. That is a great idea! One of those that you just have to tell everyone about!
March 10th, 2008 at 6:30 am